It’s been interesting to observe my behaviors and emotions while living in close quarters with other people for the past month. Surrounded by more than one hundred volunteers and guests who are also out of their comfort zone is both fascinating and exhausting. But there are some beautiful and simple life lessons I am learning along the way that I wanted to share with you.
We are provided with three meals a day here at Tamera, made from an abundance of fresh organic food sourced either from the property or from close neighbours. With the exception of coffee and a few other ingredients, we are eating mainly seasonal vegetables, grains, a ton of legumes, and homemade bread.
I have never eaten such an incredible variety of fresh, delicious food, with the opportunity to eat as much or as little as we want. We pay 20 euros a day for food and board, and our community service component allows us to attend various workshops others pay for while giving back and building community. Having been here for four weeks now, I can say the food alone is well worth the investment.
What I notice in myself, and in those around me, is that sharing a buffet of food with large amounts of people creates a scarcity mindset. Certain foods run out faster than others, and I often see people (including myself) piling their plates full, or guzzling down what they have so they can race back for seconds before the most desired foods run out.
What I’ve been trying to do more recently is take a reasonable amount from the beginning that I would be satisfied with. This includes taking a second piece of bread (which always runs out) if I truly desire it to avoid resenting the people who take five or more. When I take what I want and don’t overload my plate, I end up eating much slower and appreciating what I have rather than making myself feel sick. And when I don’t deny myself the second piece of bread in the first place, I don’t guzzle down my food in the hope that I can rush back for a second piece later on.
This week at Sunday brunch, which is the biggest and best meal of the week, I took exactly what I wanted before sitting down between two people with at least double the amount of food on their plates. Firstly, I noticed an immediate sense of envy and judgement in how much the others had, before focussing back on my plate to see the smaller portion of equally delicious food. Having vowed not to go back for seconds, I could feel my body relax, and was able to close my eyes and notice the texture and flavours of the food, while slowly chewing and appreciating each bite. Eating in this mindful way, I could actually taste the food I was eating.
This simple moment of enjoyment made me reflect on the bigger picture of my life. I have been living with an underlying sense of dissatisfaction for the past year or more, with a sense that what I have and what I’m doing isn’t enough. I’ve been on a constant search to discover the most ideal way of living, to find the perfect place in the world to settle down, and the most satisfying work that will keep me both financially secure and fulfilled. I believe searching for answers and continuing to learn about the world and myself is valuable and necessary for growth. But I realise I often do this while forgetting about the incredible life I already have.
The past few weeks have made me appreciate that I have a supportive family, incredible friendships scattered across the globe, and a career that has allowed me to take time off to hike trails and explore different parts of the world. My plate is so full of life experience, it’s often hard to remember exactly what’s on there.
If I only take one thing from this experience in Tamera, I hope it is gratitude for everything I already have. If I could reflect on what’s on my plate everyday, perhaps I won’t need to worry about the food on other people’s plates, the ingredients that feel unattainable, or the fact that the tray might be empty by the time I arrive. And before I fill my next plate, I’d like to think carefully about what I really desire, so that instead of overindulging on new experiences, I savour the ones most important to me.
Serial Nomad 
Well said and good for me to remember. Thanks!
Love,
Donna
😘😘😘
One of the most rewarding weekends I’ve experienced was dedicated to Mindful Eating. Jejeje Your post made me laugh, remembering the line at every meal at monastery. The fresh, warm bread was the worst (best) to bring out the craving, desire, and feelings of otherness (when other practitioners piled their’s high). With fresh bread daily it’s no wonder it takes decades to even curb our countervailing appetites! I just realized reading your post that we may not be more unskillful while in residency but simply are forced to face our unskillfulness while other’s do as well. jejejeje You made me laugh!
Human nature is so fascinating to observe in others and ourselves. I’m so glad you can relate to this experience! 😊
A great lesson at the buffet of life – knowing just how much you need for satisfaction.
Precisely!! 🥰
Hi darling, I had to laugh about your experience at the buffet of delicious food. How proud I am that you didn’t go back for more because at that moment you learned an important lesson in life. If you put your plate full of your experiences next to a plate full of delicious food, you can be satisfied with both of them. You can choose the experiences in life which will give you fulfillment. Enjoy it all.
Love you, Mutti xx
Thanks Mutti! I’m so fortunate that both of those plates are full! Love you heaps! 💞
Lovely description.
Thank you! ☺️
Gluttony seems to be a natural response especially when time or resources are limited. We grow accustomed to the highs. I laughed recently reading a Google review about a restaurant near the Grand Canyon in which the person said portion sizes are for Americans not Europeans. I think the supersize lifestyle changes expectations of thinking we need the biggest and best of everything. What an experience you are living. Learning to appreciate what we have when we have it is a great life lesson.
Well said Jan! You’re so right about the supersize culture! I see this play out in so many ways here. People feeling like they’re not learning or getting enough from the experience, when the best lessons are the tiny ones that come to us while focussing on our own behaviors or of those around us. I think our scarcity mindsets are a result of a society that conditions us to want more. The best way around this is to become aware of when this plays out – in FOMO or taking more than you need from a buffet or comparing what we’re learning to the year before. It’s all so fascinating to witness! Hope you’re getting out on the trails and enjoying the beautiful spring weather! Much love! 💕
I’m still plugging away on the northern parts of the Arizona Trail. I call my style slow travel where I spend a good amount of time getting to know different areas. In April I hiked in and around the Grand Canyon plus the AZT down to Flagstaff. In May I’m working on the sections south of Flagstaff. It’s always fun getting to know communities and the landscape.
Today while hiking I was thinking again about your post and think some of the gluttony has to do with our history. For example I grew up with less $$ than many others. I knew stuff wouldn’t be replaced so you better take care of it, and when gifted something or offered something for free to keep it whether you wanted it or not. My parents were control freaks when it came to food so when I found freedom it was hard to practice restraint, probably one of the reasons I always have weight issues. Yes human behavior is a very interesting observation.
Thank you for sharing your story, Jan. I appreciate your vulnerability for what is such a sensitive topic for so many people. In the past day, three people shared about their complicated relationship with food here, and much of it went back to how they were raised. I’m so glad you’re chipping away at the Arizona trail and taking the time to really appreciate the natural beauty and neighboring towns. I really admire your ability to not feel rushed and take it all in. Thanks for continuing to inspire me! ☀️🌸💕