I’m happy to report a positive shift in energy this week. Last week was rough, and I reached the point of being ready to pull the plug unless something dramatically shifted. Fortunately, in our group meeting last week, one of the facilitators admitted there is a lot of change taking place in Tamera from a leadership perspective, which is affecting the way our group has been facilitated.
This moment of transparency created a major shift in the mood of our group, as many feel like we’ve been left to navigate this challenging and confusing world of community building on our own. Having the facilitator validate our feelings of abandonment reestablished trust. Understanding that the community members of Tamera are experiencing similar feelings of uncertainty and turmoil seemed to reunite us.
Most people doing the community service arc have come here to learn and observe the way Tamera operates, and in the process, live their own experiment of community living. I came here because I believe there is something important I need to learn about life, love and relationships, and I wanted to see if community living is for me. So far I would say it is not, as the amount of energy that goes into managing multiple needs, desires, opinions, etc, feels utterly exhausting. But much could change over the next five weeks. I’m also an introvert, which is why I’m feeling so tired. I just don’t have enough time to recharge on my own.
Fortunately, the kitchen chief spoke with my facilitators to organise a refuge after my nervous system collapsed last week. I didn’t realise how much energy I was putting into protecting my boundaries until I finally snapped and broke down in front of my entire group. The positives that came out of that breakdown is that everyone checks in before touching or hugging me now, and I’ve been given a hut to relax in for a week so my nervous system can recover.
I’m not the only person struggling, but I’m grateful for this gift of privacy and a place to retreat to for a week. It’s amazing how comforting it is to be in a space where I’m not constantly wondering who will be entering the room at any moment, whether it be my dorm, the communal bathroom, or any other indoor space I’ve been in. My only escape has been short walks off the property, so this hut feels like a palace.
Despite the challenges, I still feel very fortunate to be here. I’m incredibly privileged to have the resources and time to experiment with this way of living. And even if I decide that communal living isn’t for me, the lessons I will take from this experience will serve me on whatever path I choose next.
Serial Nomad 
WOW! Sorry it has been such a struggle but agree that all will be worth it in the understanding that you gain. Don’t think I could take the hugging, though. One woman in my rowing group gave me a hug today and almost knocked me over. I’d rather be touched on the shoulder. But hugs from a distance are fine and I send some to you.
Love, Donna
Thank you, Donna! It feels good to connect with you and others while I’m here. I expected this place to be a challenge for me after living on my own for so long and feeling quite isolated. I have gone from one extreme to another, so perhaps I will learn to find a good balance. Sending all my love to you! ❤️
Your last paragraph is a great take out. It appears the leadership and facilitation especially for raw volunteers is sub standard and out of step with the ideals and ideology of the organisation.
There are people here who have done this community service arc last year who say things were a little different then. I think the uncertainty of change in the community affects a lot. Still, it demonstrates how difficult change is in life and how different people deal with it. Each day here is completely different, so I’m always curious about what the next day will bring! Sending love 💕
Rozanne– Â Â Â Â Â So glad to hear you’ve found this space to decompress and recharge your batteries. Â I’ve been reading about Tamera–I wasn’t familiar with it before I read your blog. Â It’s an interesting concept and one that challenges a lot of traditional concepts about community, for sure. Â I’ll look forward to reading more about your experience. Â You have an adventurous soul! Â Â Â Â Â Be well.
Love, Joan and Dave
Thank you both so much for taking interest in my adventure. It is such a fascinating project that started more than 40 years ago. Before they even secured this property in Portugal. So much has been developed and created in that time, and what they have built and planted on this arid land is absolutely remarkable. It seems that regenerating the ecosystem has been easier than learning to live in peace and cooperation with a community of people. I’m grateful to be able to observe and experience these challenges as they represent what we face in life on a daily basis. Sending my love to you both! 💕
hang in there..but don’t put yourself in harms way, be safe.
Thank you for your message of concern. I’m learning the delicate dance of not giving up too soon, while not pushing too far beyond my boundaries of comfort either. I’ve learned to tune into my intuition over the years and trust my inner knowing. It has taken years to get to this point, but my body knows better than my mind and helps me to know when I’m heading off course. Sending love to you and all the Trampers 💞
well, here’s a big comfortable hug to you from all of us! You are in our thoughts!
❤️❤️❤️
Hi darling, you do love people around you and we all need them but not all the time and not that close. You needed your time in solitude and so nice that they provided that for you. Very regretful that the leadership of Tamera was not assisting your group. They did not understand the importance for all of you in the group. You are all consolidating in finding answers for the questions you have in your personal life. Hoping for finding some of them, there at Tamera. Head up, and find a way to enjoy your time. A lot of acceptance may be needed.
love you heaps, Mutti xx 😘 ❤️
Thanks Mutti! I’m really learning to listen to what I need and not always follow the actions of the group. There are so many workshops and activities all the time that sometimes you just need to choose to be still. This morning I am sitting on the porch of my hut with a cat in my lap watching the birds. These moments of peacefulness are the perfect medicine in-between the hectic times. Lots of love! 😘
Wow, I’m glad your shared this. My thoughts are for your well being this week. Your words reminded me of my attempt at an intentional community in ’19. I had four encounters at varying levels with four different residents in a five week period and none should have happened. I reported the most egregious but the damage was done and I’d left in defeat. That was my third attempt at it and I’ve not attempted another in that sect. My third season (second year) on the PCT just ended similarly when the NoBo bubble reached me and I encountered three trail angels who, apparently, couldn’t say ‘no’ to requests and two left me high/dry. All people are flawed and I had to remind self that it’s up to me to guard against ‘setups’ for failure. Be strong and protect your self interest!
Thank you for sharing your experiences. There is no perfect place on earth, whether it be in an intentional community based on the principles of peace or on a wilderness trail. Sadly the realities of the current world cannot be escaped. But I think with each life experience comes a learning that we can hopefully share with in an effort to prepare others on their life journey. That is what I’m hoping my book will do once I’m able to get it published. There are so many learning moments for me here that it’s difficult to capture them all. But I hope what I do share will resonate. Thanks for your support! 🙏
True tho’ I like to think one perfect place for each of us is that moment between a thought and the following emotion. And agreed about life experiences, the beauty of my intentional experiences is I earned/received 10x the learnings had I not partook. I try to reveal the vital habit of disconnecting from everything, including at times conversations, on trail and simply absorbing the heat, rain, humidity cold, trail tread vibration, floral scents, fauna sounds, et al instead of “zoning out” with the ubiquitous devices we belong to off trail. Yesterday a hiker posted “Drugs help.” and I was reminded how out of touch so many of us are with our environment. I think your blog title is so apt for your lifestyle to day and you seem waaaay ahead of most in this respect.
Someone today said what we will learn here in two months is equivalent to what most people will learn in a year or more. I think being out of one’s comfort zone and surrounded by people from so many cultures all over the globe provides an incredible opportunity for exposure and learning. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and feedback! ☺️