I’m sitting in my bed by the window of my 18-person dorm room, listening to the rain coming down outside, and reflecting on the past twelve years since I stepped foot on the Pacific Crest Trail. Being here is Tamera, surrounded by new people and experiences constantly, I realise how well the trail has set me up for life.
Pushing myself out of my comfort zone has become somewhat of a norm in recent years. But I realise that if I came to a place like this more than ten years ago, I would have felt completely out of my depth.
The trail taught me to manage discomfort, to stay open to the constant flow of emotion and experience, and that I am capable of so much more than I could have ever imagined. The trail was the first place I learned and understood the importance of community. So twelve years on, experimenting with an intentional community with more than one hundred residents, volunteers, and students, feels quite fitting.
People were the life-blood of my trail experience. Beyond the beauty of the natural environment, the endorphins from the physical exercise, and the rewards of solitude, the community is what keeps the PCT alive in my heart almost every day.
Twelve years on, I feel comfortable in my own skin, able to be flexible with the ever changing environment, and remain unattached to the way things should be. It rains when I want to walk, the sun rises before I’d like to be awake, and I have to work in the kitchen when I’d prefer to be resting or enjoying a certain workshop or experience. But this is all part of the flow of life, and when I don’t grip too tightly, I move a lot more fluidly with that flow.
It is such an interesting experience living in an intentional community. I don’t think I fully understood what that term meant until I arrived in Tamera and learned that it is a group of people living and working together towards a common goal.
Tamera has various programs you can attend, but I chose the community service option for two months in the kitchen because I wanted the chance to immerse myself in community living and understand what it entails.
My volunteer group is around 25 people from all different parts of the world, coming together for various reasons. The age range is from around 20 to 60 with a relatively equal ratio of men and women. Many people are on a healing journey, some are simply curious, and quite a few have lived in some kind of intentional community or Eco village before in different parts of the world.
The experience reminds me of volunteering at the Alberge in Guemes along the Camino. I’m grateful for that experience in 2014 too, because it taught me how to adapt in a foreign environment, how to find joy in contributing while working long hours, and how to get along with my fellow volunteers while sleeping in shared dorm rooms without many creature comforts. It’s amazing how resourceful you become when you don’t have much with you. It’s a bit like life on the trail. Less is more, and you can generally find what you need or realise it’s okay to go without.
I can see some people struggling with these types of adjustments. Some people are challenged by only eating vegan food. Some people are grappling with the constant stimulation of people and activity. Some people are getting in touch with themselves for the first time and sinking into dark places, while others feel more comfortable and confident in their skin. I think I am somewhere in between. I feel comfortable with who I am, what I bring to the group, and my ability to adapt.
At the same time I feel many different emotions, beliefs, stories and feelings coming into my consciousness. I have a tendency to think about what will happen after these two months are over. I question the sustainability of living in a community. I hold simultaneous experiences of belonging and feeling separate, and I’m in constant comparison with the people around me.
What I’ve come to learn is that these are very natural human traits, and ones I don’t have to get rid of completely. I’ve done so much work over the past few years in therapy, non-violent communication, various workshops, and reading tons of self-help books. I’m tired of trying to improve myself. I just want to be me for the time being, because I actually love who I am and the joy that resides inside of me – even though I’m not perfect and I’m a people pleaser and I both put myself first and also don’t stand up for myself at other times. But I think this is all very normal.
What I’ve come here to learn or to improve on the most is to be comfortable with intimacy and close relationships again. I didn’t know exactly what I will learn here and I don’t have any major expectations. But I know I will be exposed to many unexpected things as well, and that those will be some of the most precious lessons I will take from here. At least what I have learned so far is that everything is transient and temporary. I can’t hold on to all of the precious moments and experiences in my life because there are always more waiting for me.
That’s all I want to share for now. I did manage to send out one query letter to a literary agent before I arrived here while I was in Lisbon. I’m happy the energy of the book is out there and am not too fussed about what happens next. It’s in the hands of the universe now. I also apologise for the lack of pictures. Because my site is so large now, WordPress charges a sizeable fee to upload new videos or images, and I don’t feel like forking out the money to them right now. Hopefully my words will be enough.
Thank you for listening and for sharing in my journey! 💕
Serial Nomad 
Thanks for sharing you thoughts and feelings. Since I met you some time in 2018 in NewZealand, your stories have always been a great inspiration for me 🙏💚🌈
Hey Phil, thank you so much for reaching out. I really appreciated your note! I hope your life journey since 2018 has been filled with joy, adventure, and love! May the rest of this year be full of delightful surprises! 🌟
Excellent perspective! Keep growing and expanding your possibilities.
FYI a workaround on photos. You can upload to Google and put in a folder with “shared” permissions, then you can use the URL in the add image option.
Wow, thanks Jan! That’s fabulous. I’ll have to try that next time! Thank you for your wisdom and support. I hope you’re enjoying the beauty of spring and the birth of new life around you!! 🌱🌈🌧️
You have a way of self-expression that elicits similar feelings for me. I expect I’m not alone in that. Thanks for sharing yourself.
Oh, I have become friends with a thru-hiker that had to bail out at Stevens Pass last year. WIll be assisting her to finish out the PCT this summer. I like trail work and it gives me satisfaction but there is a certain different emotion in helping someone personally achieve their goals, especially on the PCT. Perhaps it’s overlapping communities of the PCT, hikers and trail maintainers, that appeals to me.
Jack
Thank you so much for sharing this, Jack! It warms my heart to think of you supporting this person in completing their dream as a steward, caretaker and hiker of the trail. I hope you are able to share the story of your experience in some way! I would love to hear about it! ☀️⛰️
Excellent perspective and rich thoughts. We’ve been members of the Foundation for Intentional Community for 20+ years. We are part of the US nomadic IC. Remember following your PCT journey. Thanks for sharing.
As I’m only being introduced into the world of intentional communities now, I’m so inspired by the number of people who are many steps ahead of me on this journey. I have a lot to learn, and am excited about being exposed to the other communities across the globe with similar philosophies to Tamera. We have a few volunteers from the US who have mentioned this foundation. I’ll have to ask them more about it. Thank you so much for sharing this with me! 🙏
Wonderful perceptive! Sharing your thoughts and yourself on this journey with others will be inspirational to so many people.
Thank you, Neville. What a treasure to receive such beautiful feedback. I always appreciate hearing from you! 😊
It’s been fun following you on this journey, Rozanne, and this sounds like another chapter. It’s interesting that, having spent so much time alone, you see so clearly the value of community. Proof, I think, that we’re all in this together.
Stay well!
Absolutely, Dave! Communities come with their own unique challenges. But the power of working together and connecting with other humans and all beings is the most meaningful part of life. To me anyways. Much love to you and Joan 💕
Words can carry more meaning than photos and with less obscurity sometimes. I was thinking about your book y’day while slack-packing. I don’t know you but after meeting an Israeli out on her “6 month post military duty” ‘rumpspringa’ I realized we’re all out to just be ourselves but we often let our ‘obligations’ prevent. I’m so happy you finished your book and that is off your plate. I’ve tried intentional communities but only in Zen circles and tho’ I love Japanese culture I struggle with some of the same things which you describe people there struggle. namaste
Thank you for sending this note and for your reflections about the book. You’re absolutely right. It feels like I can truly enjoy and focus on this experience without feeling like I should be working on it. I love you sharing about the person you met on the trail and the fact that we can so easily make excuses for not following our dreams in life. It’s hard, and doesn’t always make for the most comfortable life when you do. There are times here where I wish myself back into the safety of my basement suite in Vancouver. I also wish to have more roots and the lifestyle to own a dog, so there is no right or wrong way of navigating this world. Your Zen community experience sounds very interesting. I think we expand with every new experience in our life. Thanks for touching base! 😊
Hi darling, how you are expressing your experience there at Tamera is wonderfull. The using of words show how you experience the way of life and living, the emotions which go with that and how you are dealing with them. It is You who makes the decision to fly out of a comfort zone into a new experience. It is the right time for you and enjoy it all to the fullest.
Love you heaps, Mutti xx 😘 ❤️
Thank you, Mutti! I appreciate your support to live my life in whatever way feels right for me at the time! Thank you for letting me fly free with your support under my wings! 💕
Hi there, I did have to look up to see where Tamera is and found out how interesting and idealistic it appears. Trust you find many inspiring moments amongst the communal living, while exploring more about yourself and our environment. Love, Helen
Thanks Helen. It certainly is a fascinating project. Trying to create a harmonious life on this planet comes with its challenges. I am learning a lot! ☺️