One year ago…

I’ve mentioned in previous posts about how much this trail reminds me of the PCT and how therapeutic it has been to have time to process the events of last year. In all honesty I think of the PCT 80% of the time I’m walking, and to tell the truth, it’s been really difficult at times. The events of the PCT deserve a novel, and perhaps even a sequel, but it’s only now I’m actually appreciating that it was in fact me living those events from April to October in 2013 and also realising that no one will ever understand what life was like unless they were out there living it.

I wanted to post a video from my first day on April 15 2013 which I never posted on my former blog, but unfortunately I don’t have access to it just now. It’s so funny to look back at what a rookie I was on Day 1, I’ll have to post it when I’m off this new trail. I started watching my California Dreaming video today to evoke a few trail memories, but it was a actually too much for me, and I had to stop it halfway through to prevent tears from appearing in front of my fellow pilgrims. The emotions are still so raw from the experience that sometimes I think maybe it was too soon to hike another trail. But in some ways the Camino is such a different experience and so different to a thru-hike that maybe it was a perfect journey at the perfect time. I’m enjoying this adventure so therefore it can’t be a bad thing.

April 15 2013:

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April 15 2014:

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10 thoughts on “One year ago…”

  1. That California Dreaming is such a flashback. Seems like a lifetime lived in just a few minutes of video. I can understand the mood it created for your today. Regarding the comment about whether random deviations on the trail of life can create completely new futures – in my experience the answer is an unequivocal yes. BTW – starting the journey to Tasmania tomorrow 16/4. Best for the last element of this journey.

  2. Hi darling, so loved watching that video again. You are so right, that no one will ever understand what life was unless they were there living it. You can talk about your experience to people and they will listen with astonishment but if they haven’t experienced it themselves it is hard for them to know how you felt when you were there in the wilderness. So many emotions you had to work through, such a life experience. Enjoy the Camino, it is such a different trail with different experiences. I love the photos with the lovely Spanish country side, such different culture. Have fun, love you darling, Mutti xx

    Lief Roosje, greetings from your aunt Joky, off to Tassie tomorrow.

  3. You were on my mind this past weekend as my husband and I camped at Cascade Locks to hike the Elk Creek trail. Gazing up at bridge of the gods, thinking of you crossing over and all that transpired that following month brought tears to my eyes, the rest of us cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like to you. You are grieving and nothing more than time and acceptance of the emotional roller coaster will ease your burden. This time in your life is just the second book in a trilogy and the last book will be a wonderful story of love and adventure. You know as well as the rest of us however, that there is no fantasy in life. Even a “happy” ending comes with real trial. You have proven to be a woman with incredible strength, humour and humility, three attributes that will help you handle everything that third book throws at you.

    You are a tremendous inspiration to those of us fortunate enough to have found our way to your blog and are following along. Even though I am not a “believer”, the resurrection story is a good one and Easter in Santiago is not a bad place to let go of some baggage. Wishing you Peace.

    1. What a fantastic comment Chris and just what I needed as my spirits have been on that roller coaster today and running a little flat with 10km to go to Baamonde this evening. I find so much comfort sharing my emotions with those who lived the trail with me through my blog because out of anyone, the readers experienced what I went through and can understand best why it keeps appearing in my thoughts and writing. Thank you for putting my mind at rest today and for continuing to share my journey.

    2. I am assuming “Chris PCT 2015” is the same person as “PCT Trail Angel Where’s Chris” from your PCT blog? — sounds like her empathic and wise voice. In any event, her words really resonate with me. Such a community you’ve built, Rozanne! The link you posted to your PCT Day 1 (not to mention the tearful video in the next post, so reminiscent of ones you shared from the PCT) almost created a vortex pulling me back into your PCT journal all over again – such a compelling story for those of us who experienced it only vicariously, so I can only imagine the emotional roller coaster it continues to be for you, to borrow Chris’s description. Sending hugs your way!

  4. Hi Rozanne! Very strange to feel so connected yet unable to give you a hug or hear your wonderful laugh. Thinking how I wish I’d been able to bottle your pizazz and joie de vivre, all that alegria you have when we were together on the camino. If I had I could keep it in a hip flask and take a sniff whenever I needed a boost. You are such a star!
    I can tell how this experience is deepening your perceptions, slowing down the minute by minute awareness.
    We are right behind you – have booked to come over and finish the camino on 27.8.14, the day before my birthday . Will check your blogs for advice as well as updates on your progress, so keep ’em coming! Did you read my last comment the other week? Dunno if it’s coming through allright. Have you heard from Agnes? She’s fins and back in Vienna. The cheese got to Ernesto Ok and he asked how the lovely Rozanne was..
    much love, super you
    Ali xxxxxxxx.

    1. So good to hear from you and to know you’ve confirmed your come back to the Camino! I didn’t receive your last comment but I have heard from Agnes and knew she was safe home and well. Hope we will meet again soon somewhere on this little planet of ours! Lots of love xxx

  5. Rozanne, I have been following your blog since the mountain lion episode. I have watched your story from start to finish several times. Watching the “California Dreaming” video brought back so many memories for me, as a reader! 🙂 So much “Life” happened to you in those five + months. It is not likely that the thoughts and experiences will go away for quite some time, not that you would ever want that, but putting it all into perspective, will take more time. For now, every song, smell, views, training, and hikes, will remind you of some place on the trail. It is all good. 🙂 xxoo diana

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