Europe 2025

Week 4 of living in community

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I’m happy to report a positive shift in energy this week. Last week was rough, and I reached the point of being ready to pull the plug unless something dramatically shifted. Fortunately, in our group meeting last week, one of the facilitators admitted there is a lot of change taking place in Tamera from a leadership perspective, which is affecting the way our group has been facilitated.

This moment of transparency created a major shift in the mood of our group, as many feel like we’ve been left to navigate this challenging and confusing world of community building on our own. Having the facilitator validate our feelings of abandonment reestablished trust. Understanding that the community members of Tamera are experiencing similar feelings of uncertainty and turmoil seemed to reunite us.

Most people doing the community service arc have come here to learn and observe the way Tamera operates, and in the process, live their own experiment of community living. I came here because I believe there is something important I need to learn about life, love and relationships, and I wanted to see if community living is for me. So far I would say it is not, as the amount of energy that goes into managing multiple needs, desires, opinions, etc, feels utterly exhausting. But much could change over the next five weeks. I’m also an introvert, which is why I’m feeling so tired. I just don’t have enough time to recharge on my own.

Fortunately, the kitchen chief spoke with my facilitators to organise a refuge after my nervous system collapsed last week. I didn’t realise how much energy I was putting into protecting my boundaries until I finally snapped and broke down in front of my entire group. The positives that came out of that breakdown is that everyone checks in before touching or hugging me now, and I’ve been given a hut to relax in for a week so my nervous system can recover.

I’m not the only person struggling, but I’m grateful for this gift of privacy and a place to retreat to for a week. It’s amazing how comforting it is to be in a space where I’m not constantly wondering who will be entering the room at any moment, whether it be my dorm, the communal bathroom, or any other indoor space I’ve been in. My only escape has been short walks off the property, so this hut feels like a palace.

Despite the challenges, I still feel very fortunate to be here. I’m incredibly privileged to have the resources and time to experiment with this way of living. And even if I decide that communal living isn’t for me, the lessons I will take from this experience will serve me on whatever path I choose next.

Europe 2025

12 years on

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I’m sitting in my bed by the window of my 18-person dorm room, listening to the rain coming down outside, and reflecting on the past twelve years since I stepped foot on the Pacific Crest Trail. Being here is Tamera, surrounded by new people and experiences constantly, I realise how well the trail has set me up for life.

Pushing myself out of my comfort zone has become somewhat of a norm in recent years. But I realise that if I came to a place like this more than ten years ago, I would have felt completely out of my depth.

The trail taught me to manage discomfort, to stay open to the constant flow of emotion and experience, and that I am capable of so much more than I could have ever imagined. The trail was the first place I learned and understood the importance of community. So twelve years on, experimenting with an intentional community with more than one hundred residents, volunteers, and students, feels quite fitting.

People were the life-blood of my trail experience. Beyond the beauty of the natural environment, the endorphins from the physical exercise, and the rewards of solitude, the community is what keeps the PCT alive in my heart almost every day.

Twelve years on, I feel comfortable in my own skin, able to be flexible with the ever changing environment, and remain unattached to the way things should be. It rains when I want to walk, the sun rises before I’d like to be awake, and I have to work in the kitchen when I’d prefer to be resting or enjoying a certain workshop or experience. But this is all part of the flow of life, and when I don’t grip too tightly, I move a lot more fluidly with that flow.

It is such an interesting experience living in an intentional community. I don’t think I fully understood what that term meant until I arrived in Tamera and learned that it is a group of people living and working together towards a common goal.

Tamera has various programs you can attend, but I chose the community service option for two months in the kitchen because I wanted the chance to immerse myself in community living and understand what it entails.

My volunteer group is around 25 people from all different parts of the world, coming together for various reasons. The age range is from around 20 to 60 with a relatively equal ratio of men and women. Many people are on a healing journey, some are simply curious, and quite a few have lived in some kind of intentional community or Eco village before in different parts of the world.

The experience reminds me of volunteering at the Alberge in Guemes along the Camino. I’m grateful for that experience in 2014 too, because it taught me how to adapt in a foreign environment, how to find joy in contributing while working long hours, and how to get along with my fellow volunteers while sleeping in shared dorm rooms without many creature comforts. It’s amazing how resourceful you become when you don’t have much with you. It’s a bit like life on the trail. Less is more, and you can generally find what you need or realise it’s okay to go without.

I can see some people struggling with these types of adjustments. Some people are challenged by only eating vegan food. Some people are grappling with the constant stimulation of people and activity. Some people are getting in touch with themselves for the first time and sinking into dark places, while others feel more comfortable and confident in their skin. I think I am somewhere in between. I feel comfortable with who I am, what I bring to the group, and my ability to adapt.

At the same time I feel many different emotions, beliefs, stories and feelings coming into my consciousness. I have a tendency to think about what will happen after these two months are over. I question the sustainability of living in a community. I hold simultaneous experiences of belonging and feeling separate, and I’m in constant comparison with the people around me.

What I’ve come to learn is that these are very natural human traits, and ones I don’t have to get rid of completely. I’ve done so much work over the past few years in therapy, non-violent communication, various workshops, and reading tons of self-help books. I’m tired of trying to improve myself. I just want to be me for the time being, because I actually love who I am and the joy that resides inside of me – even though I’m not perfect and I’m a people pleaser and I both put myself first and also don’t stand up for myself at other times. But I think this is all very normal.

What I’ve come here to learn or to improve on the most is to be comfortable with intimacy and close relationships again. I didn’t know exactly what I will learn here and I don’t have any major expectations. But I know I will be exposed to many unexpected things as well, and that those will be some of the most precious lessons I will take from here. At least what I have learned so far is that everything is transient and temporary. I can’t hold on to all of the precious moments and experiences in my life because there are always more waiting for me.

That’s all I want to share for now. I did manage to send out one query letter to a literary agent before I arrived here while I was in Lisbon. I’m happy the energy of the book is out there and am not too fussed about what happens next. It’s in the hands of the universe now. I also apologise for the lack of pictures. Because my site is so large now, WordPress charges a sizeable fee to upload new videos or images, and I don’t feel like forking out the money to them right now. Hopefully my words will be enough.

Thank you for listening and for sharing in my journey! 💕

Europe 2025

A new adventure

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Although I’ve been overseas over the past few years for work, it has been a very long time since I got on an aeroplane for the sake of travel and adventure. In fact, the sensation of arriving in a new country felt so foreign, it was like being transported back in time around ten years or more.

I landed in Lisbon, Portugal two days ago to begin what I believe will be a 6-month adventure in Europe – provided my finances last and the world doesn’t completely fall apart. My first two months will be volunteering at a peace research and education centre called Tamera, where I’ll be working in a vegan kitchen and learning how to live in peace with people and the land.

This was not a spur of the moment decision. Going to Tamera has been a dream of mine for the past two years. I was desperate to go last year when I was struggling mentally in Vancouver and wanted to escape. But now that I’ve got my feet planted firmly on the ground, finished my book, and have nothing holding me back – the time is now.

I spent the last couple of days wandering Lisbon with no agenda, direction, or stress. I had nothing in particular I wanted to see, no map, and no one asking what time I’d be home for dinner – blissful! (although the last point is my norm). I had honestly forgotten what it felt like to explore a brand new place, to get lost without it mattering, and to stumble upon castles, cathedrals and squares with fountains and statues I never knew existed.

It was liberating to not have data on my phone. With no direction, I instinctively ended up in the heart of the city’s bustling streets anyway with music, hundreds of restaurants, and tuk tuks whizzing by. I watched people eating icecream, sleeping in parks, catching trams and enjoying the hustle and bustle like I was. It was pure magic and an opportunity I feel blessed to have. Trust me, I don’t take this good fortune for granted, especially with what’s going on in the world. I am extremely privileged to take a break from the doom scrolling and immerse myself in a new culture.

Even though I stayed in a super cheap hostel with only one toilet, bunk beds, and people coming and going at all hours of the night, I slept better than I have over the past few weeks. I no longer have to stress about packing up my apartment, finishing my book proposal, or getting on a plane. Now that my life is in storage and my only concern is getting to Tamera, life feels simple. Cooking each day will provide me with a purpose, my fellow volunteers will form my community, and the nourishment of fresh food and nature will feed my soul. I don’t think there’s much more I could need.

Like anything, I anticipate living in a small community and in close quarters with people will have its challenges. But at this moment, I’m excited to embrace them. I have a sense of aliveness I haven’t felt since my four days of hiking in Wilson’s Prom. Life feels full of promise. Without watching the news or my investments tanking, I’m going to enjoy this moment of solace with every cell of my being.

I look forward to sharing some of these beautiful (and challenging) moments with you over the next few weeks and months. 💕

Wilson's Prom Southern Circuit

Wilson’s Prom Southern Circuit – Day 5

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I got so lucky on my final day in the prom. I didn’t set an alarm, but woke up at 5:20am and decided to get up because I knew rain was on the way.

Oberon Bay

The walk from Oberon Bay back to Tidal River is along the west coast of the prom and absolutely stunning. It was a combination of beach walking and an easy undulating track, which would make for a very achievable entry-level overnight hike for anyone starting out.

This was the route I took on my first hike in the prom 12 years ago. I remembered the exact spot where I realised just how badly I’d packed my pack on that original hike, and checked my blog last night to find a picture of me leaving the house in 2013. It makes my back hurt just looking at it! Here’s my post from that training hike: https://mexicotocanada2013.com/2013/01/29/the-training-wheels-come-off/

2013 (Pre-PCT)
2025 (I’ve come a long way)

During the last ten minutes of my hike it started to rain lightly. But 15 minutes after I reached the car, the heavens opened completely and it rained all afternoon. I was so relieved to be in the warmth of my car, but couldn’t stop thinking about my dear friends walking out from Refuge Cove who would have been caught in the deluge. I hope they made it out safe!

Final stretch leading to Tidal River

I’m so grateful for this opportunity to reconnect with nature, sleep under the stars and exercise my hiking muscles again. Life always feels so full of possibilities when I’m out in nature.

It’s a shock returning to the hustle and bustle of traffic, emails, calendar notifications and various life responsibilities afterwards. But I’m going to try and savour these expansive feelings, and bring them with me as I venture into the unknowns of 2025!

Happy New Year! 💕

Wilson's Prom Southern Circuit

Wilson’s Prom Southern Circuit – Day 4

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It’s 9:30pm and it feels like it’s about 40 degrees outside! I’m camping at Oberon Bay and am both sad and relieved this is my last night. Sad because it’s been such a magical reunion with nature, I’ve enjoyed the time alone and have met some amazing people. Relief because of the constant harassment of biting march flies, the extreme heat, the fact my block of cheese has turned to liquid, and I’m almost out of toilet paper! 

I’m so unbelievably relieved I did not hike to Sealer’s Cove yesterday. Mainly because I spent a wonderful morning with my new buddies, eating breakfast, drinking coffee, sharing stories and going for a swim. I honestly feel like I’ve known them for years. Secondly because after leaving Refuge Cove at midday, the 2.5 hour walk back to Little Waterloo Bay felt never ending. I would have added another 2 hours to that walk, and because I stopped to post my last post at the peak again today, I lost a ton of time. I was being harassed by march flies at the peak, but this cute little lizard ran around my feet eating them for at least 30 minutes.

Once I arrived at Little Waterloo Bay, I jumped straight into the ocean in all my clothes and then made my dinner for lunch because I knew there would be no water here tonight. I only have a 3 litre capacity, so I drank a ton before I left, drank about a litre during the 3 hours of extreme heat hiking, half a litre when I got here, and I have 1.5 left for the 2.5 hours tomorrow. I believe there is a creek between Oberon Bay and Tidal River, but if it’s dry I should just make it!

Most of the track that cuts across the prom from east to west is boardwalk, fine sand, and a little bit of gravel. It was so hot that at one point I thought I might have to wait for nightfall to continue. But fortunately some cloud cover blew in, and with a slight breeze I was able to reach here by 7pm.

Oberon Bay is beautiful! I remember coming through here in 2013, but everything looks so different to me now. I sat on the beach and finished off my can of Pringles, then made a wrap inside my tent before going for another evening stroll along the beach. I feel like I’m in the tropics, but I absolutely love this heat! I’m so happy to sleep without a sleeping bag tonight!

Goodnight from this magical part of the world!

Wilson's Prom Southern Circuit

Wilson’s Prom Southern Circuit – Day 3

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Today had an unexpected turn of events, but it wasn’t because of rodents biting into my tent or bumping into a giant snake like yesterday.

When I left camp this morning just after 9am, I bumped into a group of four people I met in the parking lot on day 1, who were setting off on their hike at the same time. We immediately hit it off, and I was hoping to bump into them again somewhere along the line.

Drinking coffee out of my pot this morning

I left ahead of the group, but knew they would pass me as I wanted to climb to Kersops Peak between Little Waterloo Bay and Refuge Cove. Turns out the peak was only a 350m climb, but in the 31 degree centigrade heat, even that was tough. I found a shady spot to post my last post, but because the signal was so weak, it took almost an hour, and by then, it was 1pm and the hottest part of the day.

The scenery along the way was stunning, but my body felt like I was on energy saver mode, moving so slowly to avoid completely overheating. I barely saw anyone else on the trail at that time, and all I could think about was immersing my body in the ocean once I reached Refuge Cove.

Hiding from the heat and flies
Refuge Cove coming into view

I threw myself fully clothed into the water the moment I arrived, and while I was having lunch, bumped into Cam, one of the group of four I’d met on my first day.

I joined him and his partner Amy, and another couple named Alice and Ro, and we ended up chatting for over an hour. I still had 2 hours to hike to my intended campsite at Sealer’s Cove, but because the campsite at Refuge was practically empty, Alice asked if I actually wanted to go there. Only one guy had camped there the night before alone, so I was torn between wanting to see what it was like and completing my intended goal, or enjoying a night with my new friends.

Lunch after my swim

I flipped a bottle of sanitizer to help me decide what to do, but when it told me to go to Sealer’s Cove, I still wasn’t sure. The two couples went for a quick dip while I was still deciding, and once I was on my own again, I immediately realised I wanted to stay. The A-type part of me wanted to push and hike the whole park, but the softer side of me realised I could hike alone anytime, and this would be my only opportunity to spend an evening with these folks.

After an amazing swim together, they invited me for dinner and we played a Monopoly card game before they cooked up paneer curry with rice and naan bread. Much better than my dehydrated bolognese!

I had such a wonderful evening, and have cut 2 hours of backtracking from my hike tomorrow by not going to Sealer’s Cove. This is a good thing as the temp is going to be in the thirties again tomorrow and there is no water at Oberon Bay where I’ll be camping.

I’m proud of myself for putting people before my achievements, and for enjoying what’s important in life rather than boasting an achievement that nobody cared about other than me!

Goodnight from Refuge Cove!

Wilson's Prom Southern Circuit

Wilson’s Prom Southern Circuit – Day 2

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Today was an eventful day in Wilson’s Prom! It started at 1am when I woke up to scuttling noises, which I believed were outside my tent. I had been wearing earplugs, but when I felt something run over my feet I sat up with a start, grabbed my headlamp, and switched it on to find a rat-sized mouse or small marsupial inside my tent.

The damage from the wild marsupial/rat-sized mouse

Both the creature and I were startled, and I had to try and coax it out the door before discovering the massive hole it had chewed through the mesh to get in. I taped it with a large bandaid like my last big hole, and then unsuccessfully tried to sleep with adrenaline pumping through my veins.

Suspected creature
My campsite at Roaring Meg

I met a lovely woman named Veronica and her daughter Caitlin at the site and enjoyed dinner and breakfast talking about gear and various hikes in Australia. I forgot how friendly Aussie’s are, and have chatted to at least 10 people I’d love to bump into again.

View of the historic lighthouse

What I love about this hike is that people are walking in all different directions and to different campsites, so you don’t find yourself yo-yoing with the same people and can get a lot of intel about all the campsites from various people. It also makes me feel like I’m in less of a hurry when I don’t have anyone to keep up with or try to stay ahead of.

Bush track towards the lighthouse

It was a beautiful walk along a bush track towards the lighthouse from Roaring Meg. The approach to the lighthouse was very steep, but the views and history of the lighthouse was incredible to learn about. I even met a woman living there whose great grandfather had built some of the infrastructure around it.

I found a shady spot behind a stone wall to have lunch, then continued on a long climb along the track leading to the Little Waterloo Bay campsite. I was keen to post my previous post and a few photos, so I kept checking if I had any signal as the trail claimed higher. When I was finally at the top after almost 2 hours, I had a tiny bar, and decided to climb up onto a huge boulder for better signal.

My lunch in the shadiest spot I could find

I must have been standing on this boulder for at least 30 minutes when I turned around and saw the long, sleek trail of a snake. It had been a tough climb to get onto the boulder, and I hadn’t thought about how I would get down until the snake began slithering towards me.

I’m not sure what this snake is yet, but I’m almost 100% sure it’s deadly. It took me at least an hour for the adrenaline rush to wear off, and I was terrified of every stick I walked by for the remainder of the afternoon.

Waterloo and Little Waterloo Bay below

Thankfully my final stretch was along the stunning Waterloo Bay. I did bump into a wallaby, but the interaction was rather fleeting. Somehow I was the only person on the beach when I arrived. I went for a quick swim, and then walked along the sand as a group of birds went crazy on a massive school of fish, half of which ended up on the shore.

I showed up to camp after 7pm, which left slim pickings for a site. But I managed to squeeze myself into a little cosy nook and am just praying I won’t be disturbed by any wildlife this evening! Goodnight from Little Waterloo Bay campsite!

Wilson's Prom Southern Circuit

Wilson’s Prom Southern Circuit – Day 1

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I’m on my first solo backpacking trip in over two years or more, which is hard to believe given hiking has become such a major part of my life over the past twelve years. I’m not exactly sure what stopped me, other than breaking up with my partner Tom at the end of 2021, who had been my adventure buddy for the previous few years.

I’ve been doing a ton of soul searching since then, moving 9 times in 2022/2023 across various regions of BC. After landing in Vancouver at the end of last year, I had a very rocky start to 2024, but managed to piece myself back together in the summer. It’s only recently I’ve started to feel like myself again, and the desire to get out and hike feels like the old Rozanne has finally returned.

Starting out at Telegraph Saddle

Wilson’s Promontory is actually where I did my first practice hike for the PCT at the beginning of 2013. I was with three of my friends, had never packed a backpack before, and set off with a 2L dromedary of water strapped to the outside of my pack. This is where I learned that strapping water to the outside of your pack is ludicrous and utterly painful, and after a deluge of rain hit us within the first few minutes, I realised the importance of having rain gear close at hand.

Map of the southern circuit. I started at Telegraph Saddle and am hiking to Roaring Meg (Day 1), Little Waterloo Bay (Day 2), Sealers Cove (Day 3), Oberon Bay (Day 4), and Tidal River (Day 5).

I picked Wilson’s Prom, not only for the sake of nostalgia, but because it’s a relatively easy place to hike with lots of signage, drop toilets, and a water source at almost every campsite. I also knew it would be populated, as I didn’t have the brain capacity to plan something more complicated, and didn’t want to worry about taking an emergency beacon. I figured it’s the perfect place for me to ease back into the hiking game.

Along the track between Halfway Hut and Roaring Meg.

For those interested in this hike, most of this day runs along an unsealed access road straight down the centre of the prom. It’s only between Halfway Hut and Roaring Meg that I could choose between a track and a road. I chose my particular route by what campsites were still available, as most of the coastal sites book up super fast and I only planned this a few weeks ago. I’m excited to hit the coast tomorrow and head past the historic lighthouse, which I’ve heard is well worth a visit.

Unsealed access road

It also feels nostalgic tapping on my phone inside my tent before bed. Though this may pale in comparison to my adventure on the PCT or TA, being out here again feels like a big deal to me. It feels like I’m coming out the end of a dark tunnel, and I’m excited to see what 2025 has in store!

Heading to bed at 8:30pm at Roaring Meg campsite

Discovering what it means to be alive, one step at a time…